A new phase

I'll be working on monday!! Woop woop!

I am sooo very much excited!! I really wish I can do very well. I'll be in probation for 6 months and after that if my performance is great I can be an official employee! Yihiii..

But, as every new phase on my life I'll be crying like bitches for 3 months or so every night until I can fit in. But this time it's just getting worse. Gans and I are having a different day off. Mine is on saturday & sunday, while he gets the busiest on those 2 days and get a day off on monday.

I really am grateful for the job I have right now. It's everything I've been dreaming on forever. But I just can't get the fact that I can't see Gans as often as we used too. I know we're both in hunts of our happy ending while reaching for our own dreams. It just feels so aching. I know we'll be alright, cause I just know that he's the one and there would be no one else. I might sound cocky but I'm a saggitarian, so my feeling is what I believe in most.

Even when we still have like 2 days (well, evenings actually) to spend our time together but I just feel very sad and devastated. I don't want our "tradition" to changed. It means no more watching movies on week days, no more "Gans, I need to get there, would you accompany me?", no more morning visits, no more spending all day together, our time together will become so precious. I love my Gans so much. So very much that the idea of not meeting him as often is breaking my heart.

He wrote on his twitter yesterday,

"Sisa 3 hari. Puas2in dulu deh ketemu sama enci2 yg satu ini @VaniSagita"

And I just burst in tears of both sadness and happiness. I'm happy because he is too feeling the same with me to think that our time together is need to be used as max as it can. But also sad that he is too, realizing the minimum time we're gonna have in the future.

I can't imagine how those long distance relationship doer is maintaining their feeling and all of that missing feeling of someone they love, their place to lean on.

Because Gans is my everything, he's my mood booster, he's my ears, he's my laugh, he's my smile, he's my strength, he's my power to stand tall, he's my confidence, he's my charger, he's my problem solver. He's just my everything and everything I could wish for in a man. He's also my problems and reasons of my anger but he's my sweet annoyance. And I love him so much.

I love you so much, Gans.