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Am Not Ready

Gue belakangan ini, setelah mengenyam pahit manis suatu hubungan percintaan jadi ngerasa kalo gue sebener-benernya belom siap buat suka lagi sama orang. belom siap harus nahan-nahan cemburu lagi ke orang. Belom siap harus galau lagi karena seseorang. Sampe gue suka sama Dia.   * Awalnya cuma iseng, tapi akhirnya jadi menjurus ke arah bener.   * Gue pikir gue siap. Gue pikir Dia siap.   * Dan ternyata semua kebalikannya. Gue dan Dia sama-sama belom siap. Yah, seengganya gue tau gue belom. Belom apa-apa rasanya udah BT" mulu, cemburu" mulu, kesel" mulu, yang akhirnya semua berujung pada GALAU. Sumpah ini tuh perasaan paling gak enak sedunia. Gak ada obatnya. Mau galau baru putus ato galau baru PDKT semua intinya sama, berusaha membaca maksud dari tindakan-tindakan oknum yang bersangkutan. Tapi masalahnya, kalo gue lagi ngira" tuh pasti yang kepikiran neting"nya deeehh.. Aaahh, bingung jadinyah.. *** Mau bilang udah gak mau lagi sama Dia, tapi tiap denger
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Aku bilang karma, Kamu bilang anugrah.. :)

Jadi kemaren itu gue lagi ngobrol-ngobrol sama si mantan gebetan, gue lagi cerita-cerita aja kalo dulu gue takut banget kalo sampe punya pasangan yang pribumi dan non-cina. Soalnya, adek bokap dan adek nyokap yang cewe, 2-2nya dapet pasangannya yang pribumi. Eh sekarang gue malah sayang banget si mas-mas jawa sunda ini. Terus dia juga cerita, dia sempet benci banget sama orang cina karna ada 1 masalah. Gak gede-gede banget tapi emang ngeselin, jadilah dia benci sama orang-orang cokin. Eh, malah dapetnya yang cina! Haha Pas udah kelar cerita terjadilah percakapan sebagai berikut, Gue: "Karma kali ya aku, dulu benci banget, eh sekarang malah gamau sama cina, maunya sama pribumi.." Dia: "Jadi sekarang kamu lagi kena  karma?" Gw: "Iya kayanya, lagi kena karma nih aku." Dia: "Oh karma, kalo aku mah anugrah.." HAP! Kicep gue langsung, entah mengapa di kalimat terakhir itu gue merasa tertohok sekaligus terpuji. Tapi yang pasti l
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Decisions, decisions.

 A driver of a family member just dropped off things at my house and the driver was just so friendly and communicative. Thought about that and I make an assumption that he has been with the family for so long that he just felt comfortable around everyone just like another family member. I don't have any kind of service helpers in my house, not maid, not a driver, not a gerdener, we do things by ourselves. Then it just came to my mind about having such big home that I will require help of any kind. I imagined about having loyal people to work in my house and be able to treat them like family. I also been thinking about having a booker because I cannot afford a manager at this point, I have a person in mind but I'm just too lazy to do all the talking and briefings, but I've been overwhelmed with the administrative things that I have to do to run my business. I'm really thinking of expanding my services by opening classes and having teams all together. It should start some
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