Very Emotional


It's been a while since I make a visit to this blog. Truth to be told, I only get in here when I'm having an emotional feeling. I was really confused about things, about my job to be exact. I'm in a phase where I don't want it anymore but I need it to survive. One thing lead to another and now I'm a little bit more okay with it and how things are going. But today one of my closest friend in the office told me she's going to another place. Some place where the rainbow hits the ground. I'm happy for her because she found what she's looking for but at the same time I feel so sad because I don't have anyone that have the same dream with me again. I'm sad because I've never met a person that pays attention as much as her when I talk. I've never met a person that has the same energy and ambition to raise to the top while jugling a lot of other things in between, or at least that shows the weak side of it because everyone just seems so strong. We were able to talk about our fears while acing our game, to talk about our weakness while still learning how to do it. 

It'll be a brief moment before she's gone but I feel very emotional and very sad. She doesn't even feel as sad as me because she's the type of person who just do whatever it takes to survive and she's facing a better future, which is very good for her. I completely forget the last time I felt losing this much. I've been straying my self from the crowd, not giving a single fuck if no one wants to stay friend with me. I don't want to get so attached because I know letting go is hard for me. But if it's for the better I will always be happy.

I know this seems too much, the world's not gonna end just because of this. Life will go on no matter what. But losing a person, your person that gets you, that have practically the same train of thoughts like you, to not be there like it used to is hard. I feel like I'm Meredith when Christina gone to her dream facility. I'm here, but I'm lost.