After A Heart Break

My brain shut down, I panicked, I lost all my trust, my love, my dream, my strength, my certainty, and my hope, all in one single moment. It's hard for me, to have all the positivity I have in life taken away altogether.

I tried to cheer up, I tried to throw all the pain away. I thought it worked until my body told me I'm not. I'm not okay, my mind's not okay, my body's not okay. Took me over a month to get my period, sixth day in and I'm still bleeding like it's the first. I read a few articles, the only cause I can relate my self into is the stress. I'm in stress and I'm trying to hide it all away.

I'm quite a close person, I don't really let a lot of people to come in and know all of my weakness. When the only person I show my self completely just went away and become a stranger, I've become vulnarable more than I've ever been. I was ready to throw everything away to be with him, but apparently, he wasn't. It got me to think, to wish rather, to find a man who loves me more than I love him.

I feel empty and lonely, my hearts try to wander and find a new place to stay but I haven't found one. People say the best cure for a broken heart is a new love, but I couldn't move on until my heart's at peace.

I always wondered, why people whose ever been in love always craving for another one when they got single again? You've spent a lot of time being alone, did everything by yourself, why with all the rush to find a new one? Well, I understand it now. To be in love, to feel loved is something addicting. To have someone cares for you, someone to catch you when you fall, someone to lift you up when you hit rock bottom. It's more on the moral support from someone who owns you but at the same time pushing you to flourish and be your own person.

I lost in this game called love. If by any chance you're reading this post, you know who you are, you win. You win my heart, your winning to destroy it and made me miserable, your winning to be the happier half of us, you win in this game of love. I hope you're happy.