A New Beginning

Can't believe with all my ups & downs in life and in love, I finally am a married woman. Mehehehehe. My wedding day was perfect, but one major variable flopped but that's for another story. After a week of living separately after we were blessed, finally we can live together under one roof. It was because of the weird room function situation at my husband's house where he slept with his father and there's no other room that we can occupy as ours, so I decided to sleep in my house until his father can be moved to his brother's house (which also another story why it took so long) or else, we have to sleep together all in one room. I have done it many times before when I had sleepover at his house & I was fine with it. But to fully live in a space, I will need my privacy and I need my space.

Anyway, now we've moved in together, I feel so peaceful since his house is located inside a cluster, where my parent's house was in front of a busy road where I can feel non-stop noise pollution from the vehicles passing through. I sleep better, I can connect to my self better here. I don't feel any expectation and I don't feel frighten to be scolded or yelled at. I can be who I am, I can do what I want.

It is not the best place since we're in the middle of moving because we want to build our house to be a home. So I cannot go crazy with the interior hunting & buying eventhough I'm eager to do so. I was afraid of not being myself because I need a grounding place, where everything I own is safe and where it needs to be so I can stop over thinking, but I manage to nestle and create a space for my self.

Lately I'm very keen on writing on my blog again, I play some calming instrumental song and just dwell in my thought. My back is hurting from all the sitting but I don't even mind it. I used to just scroll endlessly on my phone until my hand hurts and my eyes sore. Now I feel like to do more, to feel more. I feel like life has open a giant door where I get to play and explore. In the middle of the chaotic place that I am, I feel hopeful. I feel free. I feel calm.