Posts

Not a Midnight Thought

Minggu ini sebenernya lagi mau libur aja, karena minggu kemarin bener-bener full yang sampe tidur aja di pesawat/kereta/mobil. Bersyukur banget bisa dipercaya kerjaannya sampe bisa punya jadwal yang padet kayak gitu. Tapi badan gak bisa dibohongin ya, tsay , sempet nge drop demam badan ngilu-ngilu dan panas dingin. Untungnya setelah minum obat udah sehat lagi tapi masih banyak sisa capek yang belum kelar. Harusnya mulai kerja lagi itu tanggal 5 tapi ternyata besok ada kerjaan dadakan. Pas lagi ngitung-ngitung setelah dikurangi pengeluaran lain-lain, terus kaget karena kerja sehari bisa dapet UMR. Terus kayak kaget aja, ngerasa bersyukur banget dan ngerasa Tuhan baik banget ngebimbing gue untuk ada di posisi ini. Terus sambil masak juga kepikiran, dulu waktu masih pacaran gue bilang sama suami kalau pas nikah itu maunya punya joint income sekian, dan sekarang setelah 6 bulan menikah, Puji Tuhan dikasihnya lebih dari itu. Padahal dari waktu ngomong sampe sadar itu jaraknya udah sekitar

A New Beginning

Can't believe with all my ups & downs in life and in love, I finally am a married woman. Mehehehehe. My wedding day was perfect, but one major variable flopped but that's for another story. After a week of living separately after we were blessed, finally we can live together under one roof. It was because of the weird room function situation at my husband's house where he slept with his father and there's no other room that we can occupy as ours, so I decided to sleep in my house until his father can be moved to his brother's house (which also another story why it took so long) or else, we have to sleep together all in one room. I have done it many times before when I had sleepover at his house & I was fine with it. But to fully live in a space, I will need my privacy and I need my space. Anyway, now we've moved in together, I feel so peaceful since his house is located inside a cluster, where my parent's house was in front of a busy road where I can

I made a decision!

Kan gue jarang ya bacain blog ini, karena pas dateng kesini cuman ketika lagi galau dan butuh tempat buat merekam kegalauan gue. Terus barusan baca post soal yang decision, itu gue ngomongin lagi mau delegasiin tugas supaya gue bisa berkembang lebih besar lagi. Akhirnya gue udah hire orang yang gue percaya untuk jadi booker gue! Dan itu hal yang sangat membahagiakan sekali, bener-bener melegakan sebagian space di otak gue jadi gue punya ruang untuk mikir hal lain lagi. Ya awalnya kaget karena kan jadi ada another fixed cost yang harus gue bayarkan setiap bulan, mana juga abis hire orang eh kena PPKM kan, sempet galau gimana itu mau bayarnya, pemasukan aja kurang. Cuman gue pikir, udahlah tetep bayar full aja selama gue masih bisa bayar, kalo emang udah rejekinya dia dari kita, rejeki kita juga gak akan kemana. Gue jadi berpikir gimana cara gue untuk bisa mendelegasikan tugas gue di bisnis gue yang satu lagi biar bisa jalan lebih lancar dan lebih baik lagi. Cuman gue kalo mikir kan eman

Excitement or Anxiety

Dua-duanya ini menghasilkan rasa yang sama gitu kan di dada. Semacam ada rasa cemas yang gak enak, bikin mau ngapa-ngapain rasa hati jadi gak tenang. Perasaan ini muncul setiap kali jadwal lagi lumayan padet dan gue tau waktu istirahat gue gak akan cukup di masa-masa kesibukan itu. Seneng sih karena banyak yang percaya sampe di book terus, tapi karena tau istirahatnya akan kurang jadi takut nanti gak bisa kasih yang maksimal malah mengecewakan yang udah percaya. Ditambah setelah kena covid badan gue jadi belom bener-bener sehat lagi kan, gampang capek terus kalo kecapekan di PCR malah keluarnya positif lagi. Jadi buat gue ang overthinkingan anaknya kapanpun dimanapun ini bikin gue makin panikan lagi. Nah kalo yang kali ini campur aduk, karena nanti sabtu berangkat dan minggunya pulang dari Makassar, hari seninnya ada syuting lagi di bogor yang standbynya dari pagi sekitar jam 6 yang berarti jalan dari rumah jam 4 pagi dan standby sampe tengah malam terus pulang lagi perjalanan 2 jam, k

Decisions, decisions.

 A driver of a family member just dropped off things at my house and the driver was just so friendly and communicative. Thought about that and I make an assumption that he has been with the family for so long that he just felt comfortable around everyone just like another family member. I don't have any kind of service helpers in my house, not maid, not a driver, not a gerdener, we do things by ourselves. Then it just came to my mind about having such big home that I will require help of any kind. I imagined about having loyal people to work in my house and be able to treat them like family. I also been thinking about having a booker because I cannot afford a manager at this point, I have a person in mind but I'm just too lazy to do all the talking and briefings, but I've been overwhelmed with the administrative things that I have to do to run my business. I'm really thinking of expanding my services by opening classes and having teams all together. It should start some

Loving you is not easy

Fell in love with you was easy, didn't even have to think for a sec. But I learned from the past couple of years we've been together, that loving you is not as easy as it sounds. As any couple out there, all the firsts were beautiful. We dropped everything for each other, but as time goes by, duties and responsibilities also grew slowly but steadily. I've been too focused with the problem and I kinda forgot how to love you. It came to my realization after our fight, well, more of me getting upset with you, I just felt like crying and I didn't know why. You asked me and I didn't even have any answer, all I knew was I just don't want to fight anymore. Then I realized, I fought the problems so hard, I forgot to love you. I felt bad because I know all while I focused on the problem you always loved me like the first time, never have I felt you have any anger or hate towards me. Thank you for always be there for me even when I'm not in my best. Thank you for lovi

Waktu Luang

Lagi ada waktu bener-bener libur seminggu setelah pekerjaan kembali normal setelah kehadiran corona, akhirnya nonton Netflix dan ketemu dokumenter soal Elisa Lam di Cecil Hotel. Setelah nonton di Youtube, karena yang di Netflix kelamaan dan bertele-tele, intinya si Elisa ini memang mengalami depresi dan bipolar. Memang pas gue lagi nonton footage yang di Netflix itu pas dia di dalem lift sendirian, gue entah kenapa gak merasa dia aneh, karena gue juga suka ngelakuin hal gak jelas tanpa alasan kalo lagi sendirian. Terus nontonlah di Youtube yang nyeritain soal penyakitnya dan emang itu masuk akal banget. Intinya dia lagi ada kurang minum obat yang bikin dia jadi halusinasi ditambah dia memang suicidal . RIP Elisa. Nah yang gue merasa relate dengan si Elisa ini adalah, dia suka nulis untuk meringankan depresinya. Ketika denger itu gue mikir, iya sih dari dulu gue kalo udah stress gitu kebanyakan overthinking buat hal-hal gak penting, larinya pasti ke nulis. Setelah gue pikir-pikir, gue i