Midnight Wanders

 A driver of a family member just dropped off things at my house and the driver was just so friendly and communicative. Thought about that and I make an assumption that he has been with the family for so long that he just felt comfortable around everyone just like another family member. I don't have any kind of service helpers in my house, not maid, not a driver, not a gerdener, we do things by ourselves. Then it just came to my mind about having such big home that I will require help of any kind. I imagined about having loyal people to work in my house and be able to treat them like family. I also been thinking about having a booker because I cannot afford a manager at this point, I have a person in mind but I'm just too lazy to do all the talking and briefings, but I've been overwhelmed with the administrative things that I have to do to run my business. I'm really thinking of expanding my services by opening classes and having teams all together. It should start some...

Fell in love with you was easy, didn't even have to think for a sec. But I learned from the past couple of years we've been together, that loving you is not as easy as it sounds. As any couple out there, all the firsts were beautiful. We dropped everything for each other, but as time goes by, duties and responsibilities also grew slowly but steadily. I've been too focused with the problem and I kinda forgot how to love you. It came to my realization after our fight, well, more of me getting upset with you, I just felt like crying and I didn't know why. You asked me and I didn't even have any answer, all I knew was I just don't want to fight anymore. Then I realized, I fought the problems so hard, I forgot to love you. I felt bad because I know all while I focused on the problem you always loved me like the first time, never have I felt you have any anger or hate towards me. Thank you for always be there for me even when I'm not in my best. Thank you for lovi...

Lagi ada waktu bener-bener libur seminggu setelah pekerjaan kembali normal setelah kehadiran corona, akhirnya nonton Netflix dan ketemu dokumenter soal Elisa Lam di Cecil Hotel. Setelah nonton di Youtube, karena yang di Netflix kelamaan dan bertele-tele, intinya si Elisa ini memang mengalami depresi dan bipolar. Memang pas gue lagi nonton footage yang di Netflix itu pas dia di dalem lift sendirian, gue entah kenapa gak merasa dia aneh, karena gue juga suka ngelakuin hal gak jelas tanpa alasan kalo lagi sendirian. Terus nontonlah di Youtube yang nyeritain soal penyakitnya dan emang itu masuk akal banget. Intinya dia lagi ada kurang minum obat yang bikin dia jadi halusinasi ditambah dia memang suicidal . RIP Elisa. Nah yang gue merasa relate dengan si Elisa ini adalah, dia suka nulis untuk meringankan depresinya. Ketika denger itu gue mikir, iya sih dari dulu gue kalo udah stress gitu kebanyakan overthinking buat hal-hal gak penting, larinya pasti ke nulis. Setelah gue pikir-pikir, gue i...