must've got their name from the fact that we almost die everytime we have one. I have 60% of work that needs to be done in 2 days and here I am, writing blog post and eating while watching Keemikim King Crab Mukbang for her 2 years on youtube anniversary. As I'm watching this, I ask my self on what I want to do with my life. I have goals I have not yet to achieve, but then again, what have I done to reach it? I kinda re-evaluate my life a lot in deadlines. I don't know why. I'm thinking on how I could do better in working alone. I like creative work that needs my hands, that's why I love makeup as my medium. I don't really like the computer work, where I have to stuck alone with a laptop and just using mouse and keyboard to pour my ideas (except writing, of course). But deeper, I need pressure to kick me to go forward. It needs a strong will and persistent personality to boss yourself around. I can do this later, I can push it until tomorrow, bla bla bl...
Growing up, I always think that to be happy, there should be something big happening. Or some sort of event that has a seal of everybody's approval of "fun". Tapi semenjak kuliah dan ketemu berbagai macam jenis orang, gue menyadari kalo untuk seneng itu gak perlu diiyain sama orang lain. Yang penting gue suka dan bahagia dengan apa yang ada di depan mata gue. Sedari awal gue bertujuan untuk menjadi seorang beauty blogger, gue selalu kepengen blog gue diliat orang. Gue pengen orang bisa tau gue dan merasa mengenal gue cuma dengan ngebaca post-post gue. Emang kalo dibanding beauty blogger lain blog gue itu masih payah bangett.. udah mau 3 taun masi gitu2 aja. Sedangkan yang lain baru 5 bulan aja followersnya udah jauuhh melewati gue, ato yg baru setaun tapi udah punya sponsor sebejibun. Tapi gue bahagia banget dengan apa yg gue capai sekarang. Emang gue sengaja gak ngiklanin blog gue ke fesbuk, twitter syalalanya, karena gue lebih ke orang yang kalo dia emang s...
I've kind of overcoming my insecurities of being afraid to be judged, about being nervous on talking to people, on being afraid to have friends. I kind of being good at not giving a crap and suddenly things got better. But as every major point of my life, when something feel like its going up hill, I should get ready for the heavy down fall that will follow. Usualy the down fall would just be me crying to my boyfriend and tell him how I feel worthless. But this time I'm afraid I will have some emptiness. I can feel it waiting for me right around the corner. After every social event or even small social interaction I'm feeling something's missing. I didn't left any of my things behind yet I feel something is missing. I'm afraid to fill that emptiness I might do something crazy. Something inhumane. Something merciless. I'm getting so afraid because my brain starts to think that it's something I can be okay with. I don't know. Maybe I just need...
me?
ReplyDeleteMenurut eell?? Hahahahaha
ReplyDeletenice post !
ReplyDeleteGLISTERS AND BLISTERS