Midnight Wanders

Being a blogger has always been my dream. To post my daily life on the internet platform, to tell strangers how am I doing and what am I doing in the meantime. I don't know why but it just feel fascinating. To be yourself in front of thousands of people, made them think they know you inside out. I like the idea for being my self in front of everybody with the internet walls in between me and them. In reality, I tend to get nervous and clumsy and uncertain of my own thoughts, I nod at stronger people's view, I nod to avoid unnecesary arguments. Unlike the reality, internet has given me a chance to be confident of what I am and say what I want. I also get inspired from blog who gave such an atmosphere, such an image of perfect life. They give me hopes to have a life like them too. To have pretty pictures and get my life recorded on the way I wanted it to be remembered. I know their life is not perfect too, I know there's no such thing as perfect life, but to build that way...

Hi Hello Have you recognize any difference in my look? Haha, bet you do. In the midst of my confusion and laziness, I decided to change the whole look on my second blog here. I changed my blog name from "Vanilla on Cream" to "Midnight Wanders" inspired by my latest post and my awakening of when I mostly write in here. I also change my URL from "popsoy.blogspot.com" to "dawnofmidnight.blogspot.com" I actually wanted to have midnightwanders only but some bastards has took it! But I have my connection to the new url nonetheless. And then I found a very nice and simple free blogger template at btemplates.com   loovvee this template so much for every reason! Mostly because it really suits this blog so well. Just a place to pour some confusing thoughts I can't share with no one. I decided to change the whole look and feel of this blog because I don't see it like a home now like I saw it before. I used to see this place as...

Udah lama rasanya dari terakhir kali ngerasain kebangun tengah malem. Biasanya ketemu tengah malem itu paling kalo emang belom sempet tidur sedari paginya. Kebangun tengah malem itu, kebanyakan gak enaknya. Apalagi kalo isi otak lagi campur aduk, banyak ini itu yang mesti dikerjain. Dan ada juga ini itu yang sebenernya sepele tapi guenya keburu sensitif dan nanggepinnya jadi berat ke satu sisi. Akhirnya nambah gak bisa tidur deh. Kebangun di tengah malem itu gelap dan acara tv udah antara jelek atau film yang udah diulang kesekian juta kalinya atau berita yang kebanyakan isinya negatif aja. Gelapnya itu bikin otak gue jalan kemana-mana. Gue kemudian ngerasa khawatir sama masa depan. Lalu nongol imaji-imaji ingatan gue waktu syuting di Cafe Dangdut gelap dan bau rokok. Tempat itu aneh. Di satu sisi itu adalah tempat tua yang gelap, kotor, tua. Tapi di sisi lain gue suka dengan arsitekturnya yang jadul banget. Pintu koboi, dinding dilapisi kaca 20×20 yang mirip jendela. Kursi rotan al...

Whose here never procrastinate? Come on, who doesn't? All you lazy asses in front of your laptop or lying down on your comfortable bed scrolling through 9gag. I know you. Well to be fair, I do it too. On a regular basis. I guess every student knows how it feels to procrastinate. When its time to do your homework, suddenly everything else looks very very much more interesting than writing down the answer of 2+2, or maybe for art students, peeling an orange looks very much more important than drawing a perfect circle on an art paper. Well for me, when I was in the middle of my thesis, suddenly I get a clean bathroom, perfectly made bed top, shiny floor, and a new recipe to brag about all while I have nothing to add to my long abandoned chapter 2. We've all been through that, or maybe we are in the procrastination mode right now. I am. Now this is somewhat I feel important to share about procrastination. How to make it as a helper to get things done. Why is procrastinatio...

Gue suka banget sama subuh. Pokonya selepas jam 3 pagi sampe sekitaran jam 5 itu gue suka banget. Bisa jadi karena dulu waktu kuliah sering banget begadang sampe pagi ngerjain tugas yang gak kelar-kelar demi nilai yang baik. Terus juga pertama kali ikut produksi film beneran, syutingnya selalu mulai dari subuh. Sampe tidur pun gue gak apus makeup gara-gara waktu istirahatnya cuma 3 jam setelah seharian muter-muter. Waktu dijalanin, ya itu ngerjain tugas ataupun ikutan syuting, rasanya berat. Capek. Gak pengen untuk ada di sikon itu lagi, gak mau lagi nahan-nahan ngantuk dan kepaksa bangun subuh gara-gara tugas. Tapi kalo dirasa-rasa sekarang, semua kecapean dan kekurangan tidur gue itu jadi terasa menyenangkan banget. Ada rasa juga pengen balik ke masa-masa itu. Pengen ngulang lagi. Emang pasti capek bakal ngikut, tapi after feelnya itu loh yang bikin nagih.  Dan disinilah gue sekarang, abis ngerevisi power point buat presentasi. Dan ya, itu tugas kantor. Tapi entah kenapa gue...

I miss him so much eventhough we still meet every weekend night but it doesn't feel enough. I miss our silent moment together, just staring at each other with smiles on our face. I miss our togetherness with nothing to think about, no chat and rants about work. Just us. I know things will never get back to what it used to. It's all different now. What I should do now is adapting to my whole new environment and condition to make the most out of it. So I can make new beautiful mamories with everyone I love. But I miss him so much in particular, I'm crying for my loneliness without him, even when I hug him in person. I just miss us so much....